Friday, December 01, 2006

blogging in my kitchen among the boxes

No we have not yet set up our home office. I am blogging with my bberry. Sad I know. But it is early and I can't face the boxes yet!
Yesterday was moving day.
I hate moving.
I won't give you the full run down. I will say that torrential rain and wind gusts are not a fun way to move - especially when the truck you booked fell through (thanks U-haul) and you get a van, albeit a large one, from a different company. Thanks god for father inlaws with trucks, trailers and more tarps than your local home hardware.
By 4 pm I was on the road with a car filled with crap and a freaking out cat. By 4 10 I was on the crowded DVP when our lawyer called with "a little bad news" that the buyer's mortgage did not come through.
Several hysterical phone calls later (and no accidents despite my panic) we sorted something out. Thanks to a couple of amazing real estate agents and a good lawyer we bought in escro which basically means we have not paid for our home.
Today.
Gotta say - I LOVE credit!!!
When we finally got here we saw our new home.
My mom had already started ripping down wallpaper and curtains. It is pretty fugly. I mean we love it but it is a little scary. I can't wait to take the before and after photos. We have gone from a modern condo with stuff like granite counters and kohler fixtures to a 30 year old townhome in need of repair.
But it is what we chose. We are looking big picture!
Matty hasn't been here too long. Given that his bed was soaking wet (it is a plastic race car and trust me it did well in the rain.)He slept at grandma's last night. We are returning the van and then will pick him up.
Yesterday he spent the day bonding with his younger cousin, but that is another post for another day.
Anyway, I'm now off to wake up Mike and find some clothes.
Wish me luck that this escro thing ends today. And hey, BFAW's if any of you can explain what escro is I'd appreciate it. You know the legal stuff. I know it!!!
PS sarah - my bingo card didn't win did it????

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

GUILT

Ninety per cent of the time I am totally happy with my choice to have my son in daycare. There are a zillion reasons why. I've listed them before. I won't bore you.
At the end of the day there are a couple of reasons my son is in daycare a) because we can't afford for one of us to stay home and b) he is really happy in daycare.
Both are good reasons.
But there are days when the guilt is crippling.
Take today for example.I was trying to explain to Matt that tomorrow he has to say bye to everyone at daycare because we are moving. So much of me is okay with this. The move is definitely a good thing. The new daycare seems great. The future school and our proximity to it - all of that is wonderful.
And yet I feel guilty.
I don't even know why. I guess some days I wish I were around him more. It breaks my heart when I realize that he spends more time with others than with me. It makes me sad when I worry about how happy he will be at the new place. What if he doesn't like the teachers? What if the other kids are mean? What if ...
And, truthfully part of me feels guilty because I'm okay with it all.
I'm okay with hopping on a train and going to work every day. For the most part I'm okay with the teachers and the routines. And I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like I should have a harder time with it.
And these crappy feelings suck.
Some days I just want to take Matt and snuggle him and never let go. And then some nights, like tonight, I try.
And then I realize that he doens't want that. He wants to learn and explore and grow. And part of his day is telling me what he did and what he learned and who he played with. His joy every day comes from seeing us and hugging us and being delighted that we're back. And I try to remember that I was not a particularly good SAHM. I was tired and cranky and I was not making Matt happy.
But the day that the guilt kills me - it's a hard day.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Gum

My two year old son has a new found obsession with gum.
I'm not sure where it came from. It just appeared.
Lots of kids like gum. My niece, for instance, used to beg me for gum. And I would (and still will) buy her the good gum - Hubba Bubba or Bubblicious. She understood the concept of chewing and then spitting it out. She was enamoured when I blew bubbles.
I thought this would be the same thing with my son.
One time I let him have gum. And he loved it. It seemed he understood the concept. You chew till the flavour is gone then give it to Mommy. No biggie.
Then we had an incident where he had gum in his mouth at daycare - a big no no.
So I listened to the advice of his teacher and limited the gum. This worked for awhile.
We just kept saying "no gum" and life was good.
This lasted like a day. He now asks for gum constantly. And we constantly said no. This is consistent parenting. The child does not need gum.
And then the other day we were at a restaurant. And Matthew climbed under the table. And he hit pay dirt.
We realized he was being really quiet while we were eating our lunch (and no, it was not McDonald's. It was Tucker's).
A couple of minutes later up popped a very excited Matthew.
"Look what I found mommy!" He shouted.
I figured he had found some of the cheese that he had dropped or maybe a roll. But no.
He found pre-chewed gum under the table. And, he was chewing it.
CRAP!
So much for being strict. Our kid has gotten around the rules. Why ask Mommy for gum when you can find it for yourself.
We kind of freaked out and then he spit it out and we made him drink some juice and that was that.
You can't exactly reason with a two year old who has found the motherlode of gum.
We put the incident out of our minds and went on with our day.
The today we were sitting on the bus. Suddenly Matt hopped off the seat and crawled under it.
"What are you doing, Matt?" I naively asked.
"Looking for gum, Mommy!"
CRAP.
Now what??
Since we were already en route to the grocery store I promised him that I would get him his very own pack of gum.
All you naysayers ... I get it. Kids shouldn't chew gum. But, chewing pre-chewed gum is far worse. I bought the sugar free kind, and I plan to dole it when asked.
And you know what? If nothing else my child will have the freshest breath on the block.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Dear Santa ... I want a Ham Limer??

Matthew is quite enamoured with Santa.
We explained to him that you write letters to Santa to ask him for presents. So, we've been asking Matt what he wants for Christmas.
Guess what he keeps saying?
"I want a Hamlimer."
Yes, a Hamlimer. Or maybe a Ham Limer.
Any ideas???
He's been saying this for 2 weeks.
We've been trying to figure out exactly what a hamlimer is. His only answer is "it's a ham limer." Okay. He's 2. He doesn't know how to describe it.
I asked him if any of his friends had a hamlimer.
Yes, Diego does. Great. Given that Diego is a cartoon character I can't exactly ask his mother.
Finally, my genius mother solved the riddle yesterday by asking what a ham limer does.
A ham limer flies.
What does Diego have that flies.
That, my friends, would be a Hang Glider.
Great... So, where do we buy a hamlimer?
I have absolutely NO idea!